Shades of Reflection

    My sins.. And regrets


    Posts : 463
    Join date : 2012-03-02

    My sins.. And regrets  Empty My sins.. And regrets

    Post  Tula on Fri Mar 02, 2012 3:19 am

    There are few things in life I call Sins. There are few was for me to allow myself to commit what I consider to be wrong. But then again I am only human.
    My Sins is not desires. My desires are a part of me. My darker sides, not accepted by the world I live in, is not Sins to me. It is just me.

    Here I will write about my regrets, my bad deeds, and the things I feel is good to have said somehow. As one day I may not be able to say them myself. And for those who may not have the need to talk, they can listen.
    I do not have many things hidden in my “closet” I do not have a lot to confess. Because I clean up more than once a year and I do not to that much wrong. Still, I have made some stupid decisions during my life time. And some of those, still stings.

    Most of all here is where I will post my regrets and long needed said words.


    Posts : 463
    Join date : 2012-03-02

    My sins.. And regrets  Empty Re: My sins.. And regrets

    Post  Tula on Fri Mar 02, 2012 3:22 am

    The voice that could melt a mountain of ice.

    Years ago I heard the sound of a voice so enchanting that I barely was able to keep myself up. That voice so seductive to me, made me tremble, and still it does.

    However. Hearing the sound of a voice, being enchanted in such a way that you blush deeply and feel like a little girl again, does not cut it.

    Times went by, trips did not happen. And some where during this time, I realised that the dream was better then the reality. But it took time. And for a long time there was no voice to be heard. When it was heard again, a new trip was planned. And this is when the dream became more beautiful then the reality.

    As this girl does not enjoy the feeling of being ignored. I do not crave someone’s attention 24 hours a day. But if I am to put money and time, that I do not have, did not have as an unemployed woman, living with no other choice, at home with her father and his coming wife. In such a situation taking a trip to see someone who does not utter a word to you the 3-4 weeks before. Until 2 days before you were to meet. Seemed wrong. Perhaps I should have saved the very little amount I had. Perhaps…

    But I didn’t. I chose to spend those with the people who nudges me a little more.

    Was it wrong? Do I regret it? I didn’t then. I may now. But not for not going. I simply regret not going long ago.

    Separate lives.. Separate interests. Things become the way they become.

    A lovely voice, a charming personality and a stunning mind.. Its rare to find. But it cannot make a bridge between the empty holes. You are an amazing being and knowing you have been a bliss.

    “You could be happy and I won’t know. But you were not happy the day I watched you go… And all the things I wish I had no said… . . .

    IS it to late to remind you, how we were? And all those last days of silence, scream and blur. Most of what I remember, makes me sure.. I should have stopped you from walking out the door. You could be happy, I hope you are. You made me happier then I’d been by far. Somehow everything I own smells of you. Before the tidiest moment its all not true. Do the things that you always wanted to. Without me there to hold you back, don’t think just do. More then anything I want to see you go. Take a glorious bite of the whole world.”

    This song, cut here and there should give you the clue of what I try to say.
    A dream is but a dream. Reality is not always how you think it may be. Lies were never uttered. And I wish you all the best

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