Tula Fri Mar 02, 2012 3:15 amExperiences in your life usually give you new insight about who you are, where you are in life and what you want.
Many a time have I had awakenings. And after my past love experience I realize I have to start rebuilding a lot of shit all over again. Like the touching and hugging people part.
Somehow that fades when I get broken. And at some point in my life around the age of 13th I think, I stopped hugging people as a hello. I am trying to work on it though, the hugging part.
The last time I stopped doing so was when some of my friends simply didn’t handle getting hugs from anyone, and to stop myself from hugging those individuals on habit, and make them feel bad – I simply stopped hugging people at all.
Still I am one of those people who need closeness, hugs and touches.
Still if I am without it I take something else I need and overdo that to fill up for the lack of closeness. Sometimes when it is more intimate closeness I need, I do my best to overdo something else. But that is not easy when there is so many wrong paths to take, like eating or drinking.
I don’t have a drinking problem and I am fat.
To be honest I am more or less entirely happy about my body, I don’t drink that much and when I do its for the cozy part not the getting drunk part. Still most people in this country is like the rest of upper Europe. Seemingly affected by the world around them.
Cold, non touching – feeling like people are lets say in Spain.
That warm kind of people, their ways of being is awesome. And I love it, long for it and miss it.
The feeling you get when you travel outside Barcelona, the warmth, closeness, and all they have to give is amazing…
I wish I was half as warm as they seem to be by nature.
And if I ever become half as warm at heart and personality as most of them are, I will know I have succeeded in life
